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Musicians= nice and caring people? Bleargh!


Cerulean
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Hello fellow maestronetters

I admit I have a bad and foul temper. I like things to go my own way. But since everyone knows I am a musician, they automatically assume i am a caring and nice person. This sickens me so much. i am NOT, repeat, NOT a nice person at all, when someone is nasty to me in the first place.

When one day I blew my temper, someone said, " how can a musician behave like that?"

Give me your opinions, people. I am so exasperated by this assumption. I treat people as they would treat me, that is my way of life. When someone behaves in a certain way I do not like, I will behave like wise to him. When someone is rude to me, I will be rude back to that person.

But hey, I love music and the arts, I love the different cultures and languages too. But does that mean I must be a HOLY person?

Or do you people also agree that musicians SHOULD BE NICE PEOPLE?

Arghhhhhh!!

[This message has been edited by Cerulean (edited 11-19-2001).]

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I am exactally the same way, ESPECIALLY when it comes to music. I'm very critical of violin performances, even though some may be better than what I can do technically. I'm especially this way of people who think they're better than they really are, but that's a different topic.

My point is that its crucial to be anal when it comes to your playing. One must enjoy what they're performing, but they must also strive to make that performance the best that it can be. I think a lot of my frustration is that i know what I want, but my technique is not to the point where I can deliver what I want, and I see other people with the Technique that I want, but not playing musically. Oh well, someday I will rule the world! ...but not yet...

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Well, I think musicians are like people of any other profession...some are nice, and some are worthless heaps of skin. In my 17 years of playing, there are only 2 musicians that have p***ed me off so badly that I never want to even speak to them again! There are plenty that I think are a little "stuck up," but I still respect them for their talent. And finally, there are some who are wonderful people & great friends. I'm lucky to be currently playing in a band with probably one of the nicest guys I've ever met.

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Oops...I forgot to mention that the nice guy I mentioned in the above post is kinda shy (like me), so I'm sure some people think he may not be too friendly. But once you get to know him, he's a lot of fun to be around! So, I'm sure many musicians that seem unfriendly are simply shy & are really wonderful people once you get to know them.

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I don't have any preconceived notions about musicians being nice.

If anything, I tend to assume that musicians (especially pros, I'm sorry) are arrogant, intolerant, self-centered people. I brace myself whenever I meet a new musician.

I must also add that a great many musicians have completely shattered my above assumption immediately upon acquaintance.

It is my aspiration to be a good human being first. To be a good musician falls somewhere below that.

[This message has been edited by Irene (edited 11-20-2001).]

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I think people should strive to be kind to others if at all possible. Some personality types inevitably clash, but it's still worthwhile to remain polite and considerate, try to look at things from the other's point of view, and try and follow the Golden Rule.

That said, I've met a lot of rude, overbearing musicians, both pro and amateur. In fact, I'm with Irene on this: I tend to brace myself when I meet another musician and hope to be pleasantly surprised.

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Huh? I don't understand what you said HKV

I just don't want to say I am a nice person.

And I am just a beginner, not a pro. And yes, I have met Pros who are arrogant. But I understand their arrogance because they have worked so hard to achieve their success and standard.

what I am trying to point out is that musicians are humans too, not saints.

quote:

Originally posted by HuangKaiVun:

If you were such a mean person, cerulean, you wouldn't post this thread because you wouldn't CARE.

I'll take your meanness.

[This message has been edited by HuangKaiVun (edited 11-20-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Cerulean (edited 11-20-2001).]

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quote:

Originally posted by Irene:

If anything, I tend to assume that musicians (especially pros, I'm sorry) are arrogant, intolerant, self-centered people. I brace myself whenever I meet a new musician.

The only way you get to be a superior musician is to practice obsessively.

The only way one can practice obsessively is to sacrifice time spent with other people.

The only way one can have good people skills is to spend a lot a time with people.

The point: Musicians may appear arrogant, conceited, aloof,condescending, where in fact they are shy and introverted and never had the chance to learn effective social skills.

Cut some slack and just love them,they deserve it.

Bob

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Hmmm,

I am a nice person and a musician. Of course I believe that I would be a nice person if I were not a musician. Ill chosen words are never recalled, we should always be careful as to what we say.

We are all human and are prone to "lose it" now and then, but part of being a responsible adult is learning to control these feelings and not be controlled by them.

You cannot change or control another's words or actions, but you have complete control over your responses.

Always engage the brain before the mouth and say things as you would like to hear them. Being mindful of one's words and actions is difficult, but well worth the effort.

Regards,

Don Crandall

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I agree with Bob.

One might consider this to be an "occupational hazard" for musicians.

I believe that the pressure and isolation of professional musical training leaves its mark on people's souls. Some hold up very well, some less so.

The process can also be very gradual, with pressures building up over a lifetime. The arrogance and self-centeredness I referred to often starts benignly and unrecognizable as such, but it develops as the person grows older. Unless the process is arrested-- which is always possible.

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I do think that people expect musicians to be peace, love and joy types; that is, laid-back, friendly, and vaguely socialist.

I was once walking on the center circle of Indianapolis (without my instrument) when a bum stopped me and asked for money. I told him I don't give handouts. He asked, "What are you, a banker?" When he heard I was a musician, he said that was impossible, because a musician wouldn't be mean like that.

I just left, but in retrospect, I wish I'd asked him what the relation was between my giving him my hard-earned money and my ability to make good music? I'd think it would work better the other way; if I myself was getting a steady inflow of unearned cash, I would be more relaxed, own a better instrument, and be able to afford lessons from a good teacher.

Somehow, though, I don't think it would have done any good to ask.

Jason R. Fruit.

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I think this assumption of musician comes about because the famous ones are put on pedestal on stage and look upon like semigods. So they are automatically attributed to have god like characters. And unfortunately, this misconception grows to encompass all musicians.

I think this kind of misconception is very common in every profession. So no matter what profession you are in, you will encounter it somehow. So don't get too upset about it. As long you are a nice person, pple who really cares about you don't really take to mind whether you are a muscians or not. Why bother about what the whold world thinks.

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Thanks Guys for your opinions and comments

I think they are all very wise opinions

Have a happy Thanks giving!! See ya all

quote:

Originally posted by Sound Dreamer:

I think this assumption of musician comes about because the famous ones are put on pedestal on stage and look upon like semigods. So they are automatically attributed to have god like characters. And unfortunately, this misconception grows to encompass all musicians.

B]

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