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Bridge Revolution


JackSchmidling
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Through the wonders of Artificial Intelligence, computer acoustic tomography, CAD, LGBT and CRT, we at Jack Schmidovarius are delighted to announce the JS-91, the bridge to end all bridges.

The $10,000 sticker price may be a bit of a shock but when you factor in that when installed of a $29 EBAY beginner instrument it will shame all other violins out there without this bridge.  Strads will become museum pieces without it.

Don't delay your order as I have only enough wood for about a thousand on hand and I will have to cut down another tree and season it for two weeks.

Cheers

Jack

bridge13.jpg

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Yeah, that’s how advanced artificial intelligence is. Looks like the level of a 3year old. (Sorry, didn’t intend to insult anyone who has 3 year old child:ph34r:)

I would suggest to improve the model with the new revolutionary mental meltdown method by Prof. Sigmund Götterfunken to achieve the triumphal 9th effect. 

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Now that we have had a little fun, it's time for the reality check.

Strangely, that's not so simple or pleasant to accept.

Either I should go back to the piano or there really is a lot of humbug in the bridge construction and setup.

To review, I bought this violin new, 50 years ago and the original bridge seemed a bit warped and I also needed to find out if it was causing some of the problems I have playing the instrument.

So I invested about $100 and 4 hours driving time to have a new one fitted by the nearest shop that could do it.

In the meantime, I invested significant time and very little money in learning about bridges and making my own, even to cutting down the tree (about 4 years ago).

When I got the violin back from the shop, I was not very happy with it for reasons discussed elsewhere so I got serious about making one from scratch that I was happy with and that is the Genesis of JS91, this thread.

The reality is that I can not tell much if any difference between the original, the professional and JS91, either in how they play or sound to me or my wife. Actually, there is some difference in how they play but it just takes a bit of retraining and then the difference fades away.

Not sure what if anything I will do with this anecdotal info but there it is.

Actually, what I did was to put the $100 one back in simply because it cost $100 and that makes my wife happy. However, I am thinking now that JS91 is a bit easier to play and will probably put it back again.  I may go on doing this every week or so until I find a new hobby.

Jack





 

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1 hour ago, JackSchmidling said:


The reality is that I can not tell much if any difference between the original, the professional and JS91, either in how they play or sound to me or my wife.
 

That is highly unusual! There's little that can be changed in a bridge without making  a perceived difference, and you have made a radical change to the "rocking frequency".

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6 hours ago, David Burgess said:

That is highly unusual! There's little that can be changed in a bridge without making  a perceived difference, and you have made a radical change to the "rocking frequency".

The three 3 mm round holes produce a tintinambulating vebilfeltzer which neutralizes the rocking frequency up to about 2 gHz or a bridge height of 1000 ft.  It would then require aircraft warning lights which would spoil the artistic effect anyway.

 

Jack

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2 hours ago, JackSchmidling said:

The three 3 mm round holes produce a tintinambulating vebilfeltzer which neutralizes the rocking frequency up to about 2 gHz or a bridge height of 1000 ft.

 

Tintinambulating vebilfeltzen can not be attained with round holes. That's why the only round holes on a violin are the peg and end-button holes, where intinambulating vebilfeltzen is expressly not desired, because it destabilizes the tuning. ;)

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Before retiring from North American Veblefeltzer, I was working on the suspension bridge project that was going to revolutionize everything. Sadly the new manager of our division entirely ignored tap tones, shrimp shells and adjustable f holes. I was really disappointed since adjustable f holes were the only way to properly compensate for changes in air density and the effect that had on Helmholtz resonance.

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20 hours ago, David Burgess said:

Tintinambulating vebilfeltzen can not be attained with round holes. That's why the only round holes on a violin are the peg and end-button holes, where intinambulating vebilfeltzen is expressly not desired, because it destabilizes the tuning. ;)

That's easly dealt with by using square pegs.

 

js

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6 hours ago, Uncle Bob said:

I was really disappointed since adjustable f holes were the only way to properly compensate for changes in air density and the effect that had on Helmholtz resonance.

Adjustable f holes are a great idea but if they are computer generated and allow all possible combinations and permutations, you could end up with an A hole which would be frowned upon in polite circles.

 

js 

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On 9/6/2021 at 11:28 PM, JackSchmidling said:


Now that we have had a little fun, it's time for the reality check.

Strangely, that's not so simple or pleasant to accept.

Either I should go back to the piano or there really is a lot of humbug in the bridge construction and setup.

To review, I bought this violin new, 50 years ago and the original bridge seemed a bit warped and I also needed to find out if it was causing some of the problems I have playing the instrument.

So I invested about $100 and 4 hours driving time to have a new one fitted by the nearest shop that could do it.

In the meantime, I invested significant time and very little money in learning about bridges and making my own, even to cutting down the tree (about 4 years ago).

When I got the violin back from the shop, I was not very happy with it for reasons discussed elsewhere so I got serious about making one from scratch that I was happy with and that is the Genesis of JS91, this thread.

The reality is that I can not tell much if any difference between the original, the professional and JS91, either in how they play or sound to me or my wife. Actually, there is some difference in how they play but it just takes a bit of retraining and then the difference fades away.

Not sure what if anything I will do with this anecdotal info but there it is.

Actually, what I did was to put the $100 one back in simply because it cost $100 and that makes my wife happy. However, I am thinking now that JS91 is a bit easier to play and will probably put it back again.  I may go on doing this every week or so until I find a new hobby.

Jack





 

Hmmm, could it be that your violin has a very thick top plate? 

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1 hour ago, David Burgess said:

Oh, a "Swiss bridge".

"Before shooting the apple off his son's head, William Tell practiced, using a violin bridge, and sometimes cheese, so as not to waste fruit."

yeah I bought some swiss cheese recently but had to return it.  There was something wrong with it.  It was full of holes.   

 

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