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    • john

      Read the rules at the top of this page before posting.   12/30/16

      The rules are copied here for your convenience: The Auction Scroll is for sharing opinions on instruments listed and offered for sale online on this site or any other. It is for the civil exchange of ideas and opinions about the instruments themselves. The opinions expressed are solely those of the poster, and do not represent the opinion of Maestronet or its forum moderators. Personal attacks on individuals will not be tolerated and will result in banning from participation in the forums. For example you are free to state that in your opinion a certain instrument labelled such and such is or is not authentic. You can also support your opinion with facts as you see them, as long as you make no reference to the individual or company listing the instrument or use hearsay in your argument. You cannot say for example that such and such an instrument is not authentic because you know the individual listing the instrument is not trustworthy or you believe the company routinely uses false descriptions of its instruments. That will get you banned. Similarly, you can defend the authenticity of an instrument with the facts as you see them, as long as personal attacks and hearsay are not used. For example, you could refer to the shape of the f holes in support of a certain origin, but what you cannot do is attack any individuals that may hold a different opinion. This is a unique forum, so please abide by these rules to ensure it continues in its current form.
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Mark Neukirchen

Ebay Jeopardy!

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Alex, I’ll take eBay violins for $400.

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-Framed-Clown-Print-Signed-Henri-11-x-11-Playing-Violin-/401252969825?

Question: What do you get when you cross a ballet dancer, a violinist, a clown and a nightmare?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Violin-Violinists-Handmade-Creations-Orchestra-Unique-Stuffed-Plush-RARE-HTF-/162315560427?

Question: What are the risks of utilizing low density spruce?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/370120681047?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: Who is Maestro Herman Munster?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/vintage-mosaic-violin-with-or-without-bow-/232187181241?

Question: What may have a slight negative effect on tone?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Violin-/291976657669?

Question: What constitutes postal fraud?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/391650318287?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: What is Saul Hudson’s first musical interest?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Antique-Victorian-Cabinet-Card-Photograph-Beautiful-Girl-with-VIOLIN-Clinton-MO-/132046437600?

Question: What happens when you snort your rosin dust?

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/1941-Press-Photo-Jan-Savitt-new-dad-plays-violin-for-baby-Devi-Marilyn-/391650138719?

Question: Who is the only one that will listen?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Old-Italian-violin-by-Aristide-Benigni-Ascoli-Piceno-1956-/361873861451?

Question: Who's legacy was severely blemished by choosing to copy early American amateurs?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/232199213432?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: What was made by the invisible man?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/322357086917?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: What happens if you don’t have your violin vaccinated?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/371830616869?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: Who is Maestro Lyin’ Ted?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/112237596134?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: What is a major understatement?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/221838099809?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: What will a mute cost when hyperinflation hits?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/262779414787?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: Why did Gomez buy Morticia a pair of earplugs?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/162329585216?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: What teaches you how to get lucky with a fiddle?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/291984067370?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: Who is Ernst’s illegitimate brother?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/172386223349?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: Why did grandpa take up paint-by-numbers?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/192071776901?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: How did Wolfgang satisfy his sweet tooth?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Antique-Old-Czech-Violin-Stradivarius-Copy-Bow-Great-Patina-Refurb-or-Wall-Hang-/222370986604?

Question: Why should you never let someone with hot hands hold your Sartory?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/152380047264?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: Did anyone get the license number of that fiddle?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/5-4-Handmade-Violin-/291973657501?_trksid=p2047675.l2557&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT&nma=true&si=N3PSQCR5h8ejz3v8GP3DOtte2PM%3D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc

Question: What do you get when you multiply a violin times 1.25?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/122301100325?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: Why should inspiring makers respect tradition?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/142207507850?_trksid=p2060353.m1438.l2661&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

Question: Why do you keep your dog in the garage at night?

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Doisneau-Pause-by-Maurice-Baquet-1958-Cellist-French-Actor-Photo-Poster-Print-/151051643643?hash=item232b612afb:g:RjUAAMXQWlFRoK6q

Question: What happens when manic meets allegro?

 

Answer: (Warning: contains nudity) http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-1940-49-Racy-Blonde-Stockings-Violin-Original-Risque-Pinup-Nude-Photo-/222369658207?hash=item33c643b55f:g:WCgAAOSwUKxYb-vV

Question: Who lacked technical expertise but still made first chair?

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So much fun! :)

I love the bulldog playing the cello. :wub:

I do not understand the cardboard violin. :blink:

The 5/4 violin scares me as much as the clown playing the violin. *shudder* :unsure:

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Hilarious thank you for this, lets keep it going. Uploaded screen caps will memorialize this comedy gold when the links expire.

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On 1/8/2017 at 7:08 PM, Mark Neukirchen said:

Alex, I’ll take eBay violins for $400.

 

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Hat's off, gentlemen, a genius!

 

23 hours ago, Rue said:

I do not understand the cardboard violin. :blink:

It's made from USPS Priority Mail boxes. :P

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After reading their ad copy, one wonders if the individual offering the $15K oversize violin had anything to do with the "HOLLYWEED" prank over the holidays? :lol:

Flipping brilliant as always, Mark!  Thanks. :)

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15 hours ago, Andrew McInnes said:

...It's made from USPS Priority Mail boxes. :P

Yes...but why would anyone buy it, and put it in their office?  We made cardboard sculptures in Introductory Sculpture class as assignments that were better than that...and they were of no value (except as a learning tool)...

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6 minutes ago, Rue said:

Yes...but why would anyone buy it, and put it in their office?  We made cardboard sculptures in Introductory Sculpture class as assignments that were better than that...and they were of no value (except as a learning tool)...

And that, my friend, is the central problem to modern 'art': Who is gonna buy that crap? :P

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Thanks for the thanks.

 

I was going to have this one on the end but it seemed a bit too somber.

 

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-photo-of-A-homeless-man-playing-a-violin-IMS-IMS-/391661453783?nma=true&si=N3PSQCR5h8ejz3v8GP3DOtte2PM%3D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

Question: What puts all of our problems into proper perspective?

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On 1/8/2017 at 7:08 PM, Mark Neukirchen said:

Alex, I’ll take eBay violins for $400.

 

Answer: (Warning: contains nudity) http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-1940-49-Racy-Blonde-Stockings-Violin-Original-Risque-Pinup-Nude-Photo-/222369658207?hash=item33c643b55f:g:WCgAAOSwUKxYb-vV

Question: Who lacked technical expertise but still made first chair?

NSFW nudity.

Answer: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Nude-blonde-woman-holding-a-violin-vintage-art-photo-by-Harry-Amdur-/272517049933?hash=item3f73482e4d:g:ZVUAAOSw44BYdNcn

Question: Second violinists try harder.

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No! My violin does not need a bridge or strings! No support for either one of us!

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