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Happy New Year!


Jeffrey Holmes

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Best wishes for all to have a wonderful 2016.

 
IS ANYONE PLANNING TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF?
 
"A violinist, conductor, and soprano walked into a bar..."  Apparently I should stop and rephrase my question:
 
Is anyone ELSE planning to turn over a new leaf?   :)  

 

"From the sound of it, one might think that this phrase is related to freshly budding green leaves in the spring, which carry a pleasant image of renewal and fresh starts. The term actually refers to turning the page of a book, however, and it dates to the 1500s. The implication is that one is turning over the previous page with the bad behavior, and starting anew on a fresh page.

 

"Allegedly, when accused of recidivism after promising to change, Oscar Wilde once said that he earnestly intended to turn over a new leaf, but he hadn't gotten to the bottom of the page yet. He supposedly assured his critic that as soon as he was done, he would make good on his promise."    —from The Wise Geek, on line.

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IS ANYONE PLANNING TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF?

 
"A violinist, conductor, and soprano walked into a bar..."  Apparently I should stop and rephrase my question:
 
Is anyone ELSE planning to turn over a new leaf?   :)  

 

 

No. 

 

Recently, a symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time being bored, some of the bassists decided to lift the curtain and sneak offstage to the tavern next door.
 
Fifteen minutes later, after slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, "My God! We need to get back!"
 
"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist, "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It will take him a few minutes to get it untangled. We’ve got plenty of time”
 
After finishing their last beer they staggered back to the concert hall, once again lifted the curtain and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the bass players were giggling and the conductor seemed a bit edgy. She turned to her companion and asked if he knew what was going on.
 
"Well, of course I do," said her companion. "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.”  :ph34r:
 
[Wanders back to the leftovers after having posted her first rancid pun of 2016]
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