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puns are the lowest form of humor

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I love the smell of violins in the morning. They smell like

[dramatic pause]

well, kinda like old musty wood, if you know what I mean. Well, not new violins, but old ones do. I'm sure you've smelt that smell before. You know, you can actually predict when it's going to rain, by the increase in... well, I digress.

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I hope the low gas prices get you don't so excited you ride the Ring Cycle in your dance tights, or this could get too Teutonic. 


May I  suggest you start a food serving lunch truck for vegans? You could bake vegetables and call yourself Van Beet Oven.


One meal could be for dieters called Ber li Oz. 

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You could go on the food circuit and take a tourte of France, and cook some blackened frogs legs, which you could advertise as Ebony Frog. 


And if too many French began missing their legs you could handel them some walking sticks. Of course you need to be really careful then of a Caine Mutiny. 


If they col legno, take it in stride, viol-ence never solves anything. 

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