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Writing Violin Descriptions


LadyAmati
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Hi everyone, I've been missing for quite a while. Hope all is well. I've written a short story about a luthier and thought I'd share some violin descriptions. I learned a lot while hanging out on the Pegbox forum and dreaming about making a violin. Since I never did do anything but make a mold, I figured I could write about it.  ^_^

 

The first one is called Angel's Breath:

 

“She’s called Angel’s Breath.” He held the violin in front of the dim firelight and turned it to show her the back. Fiery, translucent stripes leapt off the deeply curled maple. Her fingers tingled to touch. She inhaled the resiny scent of varnish and admired the flawless handiwork, the slight corduroy effect on the spruce...
 
Lady Amati. Under the Maestro's Hand (A Violin Erotica Short Story) (Kindle Locations 28-30). 

 

The second one is called Kitchen Maid:

 

It was badly scarred, dented, dark brown and scuffed. A corner was chipped, and a crack ran from the shoulder to the top of the right f-hole. Salty grey tear marks streaked over the belly. The wood was warm to the touch, not shiny, but matte, like well-worn leather. She turned it over. Grime, the color of coffee grounds, covered the back, partially obscuring the pinwheels of birdseye maple.
 
Lady Amati. Under the Maestro's Hand (A Violin Erotica Short Story) (Kindle Locations 55-58). 

 

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If you're interested in the ebook it's available at Amazon, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Sony ebookstore. Warning: the writing is risque and for ages 18+  :blink:

 

I'm also writing regular novels under my penname Rachelle Ayala and you can find me at http://www.rachelleayala.com

 

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Let me know what you think about my short story, or if it's too embarrassing, at least let me know what you thought about the violin parts.  :D

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^_^ 

French movies are forever using music and art as 'erotica', or sensual devices. 
Not sure it lends much to the arts or the music, but it has made a niche for itself. 


I'd be aware of the various cliches that we fall prey to :

'he did her peach over the workbench to the lilting moans of Atrud Gilberto'
' She was so keen to help him varnish his wood, a deep purple lipstick red'
' her bare shoulder sweated a salty hole in the varnish on the back of her Caressa'

' Her brother's Amati was so full and dark, he showed her his best effort, she was pleased to try it..'

Etc. 


 

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^_^ 

French movies are forever using music and art as 'erotica', or sensual devices. 

Not sure it lends much to the arts or the music, but it has made a niche for itself. 

I'd be aware of the various cliches that we fall prey to :

'he did her peach over the workbench to the lilting moans of Atrud Gilberto'

' She was so keen to help him varnish his wood, a deep purple lipstick red'

' her bare shoulder sweated a salty hole in the varnish on the back of her Caressa'

' Her brother's Amati was so full and dark, he showed her his best effort, she was pleased to try it..'

Etc. 

 

 

True... I think of the famous art work, the one where the violin f holes are superimposed on a woman's back on how music and touch are so related. And of course, there's that scene in the Red Violin. 

 

Those cliches are what we call purple prose.  :rolleyes:

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Man Ray, debauch??

Lady Amati, I think you handle prose well, and I am happy that you're making a go of it. It's hard to focus and finish work, be it fiddles or stories. Have you seen the Klaus Kinski Paganini movie? The purple... cinematographic exploration of what Ben's talking about skirts the edge, and then goes over. It's good for a laugh.

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First, Lady Amati, congratulations on being able to get something published. And thanks for your interest in the violin and makers.

I wouldn't be too hard on your style since it is part of a genre. Most of us, particularly men, don't read this stuff, but I have good and dear friends who do (who are otherwise perfectly normal :) ). I don't see anything completely false about the descriptions, considering it IS in a context. If I were teaching a writing class, I'd probably make tons of recommendations which would make the final result totally unsaleable for the intended genre. So keep with what's working, and good luck.

If you are writing "regular novels," I would recommend you seek out David Schoenbaum's "The Violin." Something there might inspire you; for example, there is a wealth of information about how violinists were treated and how they lived in different eras. And John Lott, who led a colorful life that included herding camels in Australia, yet became one of the great English makers. There's a novel for the taking.

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Thanks! I've been kicking around writing a romance novel where the hero is a luthier. This short erotica piece was just some inspiration before tackling a longer piece. Obviously in a longer piece I would have to get into the details of violin making. ha, ha. I know first hand how hard it is to varnish with a brush [i.e the runs, etc, especially spirit varnish]. So I do have some of the technical background on how to mess things up, LOL, split wood, dull blade, etc. I've made 23 dulcimers, 22 from scratch and while it is a much simpler instrument, a lot of this still goes into it. I can only imagine carving the contours as being a much more sensitive experience.

 

I also know what it's like to play an instrument and have all of the emotions going through me when playing, especially the tone and character of an instrument. I'm not a lesbian, but goodness, the violin is a woman I can imagine the way it responds or plays as a female response in other more passionate ways. Some violins are responsive and fast, others require more effort but can be worth it. I don't mean to say all tight violins are not good. Lots of new violins are tight, but they warm up with effort and can produce enchanting tones. I cannot picture a violin as male. So, in any romance it would be a female violin player with a male luthier. It would seem opposite to go the other way.

 

I might have a love triangle, a male player who has a prized violin that the female player THINKS is the one that's going to make her a star. She finds a luthier and orders him to copy that violin. Meanwhile she tries to seduce the player into letting her play his violin. Only she finds out too late, it is not the violin, not the maker, but her own soul that makes the difference.

 

Anyway, enough rambling. You guys are right. Women are probably the audience. Look at Fifty Shades of Grey, but unless the woman is a luthier, she won't get the nuances of what goes into making that magical instrument.

 

In male fiction, I would agree [lose the adjectives and the adverbs], make it all action and dialogue. But I've learned that my prose is too sparse if I follow the constructs of male writers. Michal's Window was sparser than what females would like. So, now I make it lusher and maybe it's over the top, but I think or hope it works.

 

thanks for the pointer to John Lott, ha, you never know right? that shy, retiring guy hunched over the plate holder might be a real passionate guy full of adventure and tone color.  ;)

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