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Lydia Leong

Things that make you angry

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I think that Taiwanese folks who get mad at others for calling them "Chinese" are silly.

As far as the Taiwanese goals go, it's:

1) Doctor

2) Doctor

3) Doctor

4) Lawyer

My cousin just dropped Harvard Medical School to attend - Harvard Business School.

Needless to say, his parents were PISSED!

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quote:

Originally posted by Stephen:

Lydia:

That must be infuriating, especially when it comes from someone nominally of one's own culture.

I think that sometimes the best response to such pettiness is the truly Olympian cluelessness of P.G. Wodehouse's hero(?), Bertie Wooster. Once, when Jeeves brought him news that Bertie's aunt might lose her French chef Anatole (and correctly perceived that this event would touch off chaos in Bertie's own personal life), Bertie would not discuss it. He was in the middle of solving several sets of inter-related matrimonial problems, and did not appreciate Jeeves' superior intellect intruding with some seemingly irrelevant information. Re-establishing his own grasp of the situation, he looked cross and explained patiently "Jeeves-- Anatole is foreign, and therefore excitable."

Sometimes it is good to keep this in mind, even if it does not help one's analysis of the correct next step.

Stephen

Sorry about this tangent but one of the things that makes me angry that this post brought to mind is when I tell someone that P.G. Wodehouse is the funniest writer of all times and one of the best writers of the 20th century, and they shrug me off and never read them.

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quote:

Originally posted by Jonathan Rubin:

DigiMark -

Are you in the orchestra to "get by easily" or learn? It's hard to really count, turn pages properly and be on the ball. You should try it.

I'm not just in it to "get by easily". I realize it's hard to do all those things. My post made it sound like I never do. I do try to and am pretty good at it, but it's just nice to have a stand partner who'll do it too if I don't. Orchestra class is 1st period, and thus I am extrememly tired a lot of the time (should get more sleep, but then I wouldn't be a real teenager now would I) Some days it's hard enough to keep my eyes open during class let alone actually follow what we are doing.

Just wanted to make sure you didn't think I slacked off all the time.

Just most of the time smile.gif

DM

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Well, I guess I should defend a little bit for the "Asian" (actually Chinese) thing. smile.gif

In traditional Chinese culture and possibly other Confucianized cultures, there is a strong temporal link connecting the ancestors and the offsprings in a family. An individual don't live just as an individual; the family with all its history exists as a greater being, so to speak, to which the individual is responsible as a member. Although things have changed a lot nowadays, it is the fragmented remains of this culture and philosophy that cause some parents to expect their chilren to be exactly when they want them to be.

Besides this, however, we must also remember how much emphasis Confucian societies put on education and diligence. It is only natural that Chinese parents want to give their children as much as possible, as much as they can afford, even when they DON'T specifically expect their children to be anything.

But isn't this also a restriction of the children's freedom to develop their own personality and decide what they want to be? Personally, I don't think so as long as it's not severely overdone. Making a child learn this and that, though might take away the child's freedom at that moment, actually GIVES him/her the freedom to pursue things that others who did not start early cannot pursue. I can only be grateful to my Mom who tucked the violin under my chin when I couldn't even tell the difference between a violin and a guitar.

How about the bragging and gossiping? IMHO, that's only a very natural side effect of the culture I mentioned above. After all, it's difficult for a normal (particularly not so well-educated) person not to feel a little conceited after all the painstaking efforts, right? It'd be unfair to call this side-effect "the Asian culture", because it would probably have happened to non-Asians as well if put under the same situation.

Stewart

p.s.

The Taiwanese who denied himself to be "Chinese" is indeed silly, but a possible source of confusion might be the English language itself. An adjective such as "Chinese" or "French" could designate a lot of things: the nationality, permanent state of residency or ethnicity. The guy probably intepreted it as the nationality. (Actually even the word 'nationality' is ambiguous in this case. Oh well, what the heck...)

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The thing that really makes me mad is when musicians tell you that the instrument is easy and that nothing is harder to master than their own.

I had a professional classical guitarist tell me that "you violinists have it easy, we have to work for a good sound"

Well, I know that for myself, if I don't practice, then I don't play well. I believe that once you reach a certain level, all instruments are equally challenging. Some trickier than others in some areas, but it's never fair to say that one instrument is harder to play than another.

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Things that made me angry? One time when I was playing principal 2nd in a relatively good amateur orchestra, my standpartner said I missed ALL the entrances! It was the first rehearsal of the season and we were doing the last movement of Mendelssohn's "Italian" Symphony. Not exactly an easy piece to sightread. I may have missed a few, but certainly not all the entrances, for I heard the piece many times before and am also a competent sightreader.

I had a strong suspicion that he felt he was a better player (which he wasn't) and was jealous of the fact that I was the principal and he was the 2nd chair. Throughout he kept making scathing comment about my playing, so I decided to get back to him. At the next rehearsal, at several critical entrances, I would suddenly grab my violin and get ready to play the music ONE MEASURE EARLY! Except I stopped my bow just before it actually landed. But my standpartner came in with loud bangs and got glares from the conductor!

I am usually not this mean (that was the only time I pulled anything like this), but this guy was too offensive for me to deal with, so I decided to got back at him. Oh, well....

Toscha

[This message has been edited by Toscha (edited 07-26-2000).]

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What makes me mad the most is that I don't play as well as I would like, nor do I work hard to get to where I want to be. I know others have said nasty things about my playing the violin, but I don't take them as seriously as my own criticisms.

re: Taiwanese vs Chines: I think some Taiwanese people don't want to be confused with being Chinese is because of their political stance. I know a lot of times when I refer to myself as Chinese, people start talking to me about my country being communistic, etc, without realizing that Taiwan is actually not governed by China (PRC). I don't really want to get into it too much since it's off topic.

Victoria

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quote:

Originally posted by lagomorphs:

re: Taiwanese vs Chines: I think some Taiwanese people don't want to be confused with being Chinese is because of their political stance. I know a lot of times when I refer to myself as Chinese, people start talking to me about my country being communistic, etc, without realizing that Taiwan is actually not governed by China (PRC). I don't really want to get into it too much since it's off topic.

Victoria

Is this also aggravated by Taiwan's peculiar history vis a vis China? It was a relatively recent addition to the Qing empire, and for the first half of the 20th century was actually under Japanese control. Is there a distinctly Taiwanese identity (food, religion, etc.) that lingers as a result? Just curious. And WAY off topic.

[This message has been edited by Stephen (edited 07-27-2000).]

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It doesn't make me angry, it makes me sad to see, healthy people dragged into the psychotic ramblings, found on a nearby thread. Mairead correctly identified a chemical imbalance, and I will add probable schizophrenia possibly drug induced. Charles Manson, David Karesh,were extreme examples,of sick people who needed to attract others fasinated with life's eternal mysteries.

One cannot outthink, outmaneuver, reconcile,correct,or rationalize such an individual, for he does not participate in your discussions or thoughts, but merely allows us to engage in his delusions.

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Fiddlefaddle,

I've worked to make you feel less than you are and I am very sorry. Let me be much more clear about what's just passed. I'm not better than you, I am less than you having done such a thing. I beg your forgiveness. I want to understand your hurt so I can try to make it up to you if I can. E-mail me if it will help. My goal is not to hurt or embarrass anyone at any time and because I am human, I fail. Help me to be a better person, please?

This is a great thread, I wanted to join in and share but so far I'm a party pooper at most threads. Please don't let me be one this time.

I'm angry at my own use of harsh words that cut deeper than I could ever imagine. I'm angry at my own stupidity for not having seen the hurt it would bring to a face I could not see. Unless we fear our own words have power we are in great danger.

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I can help no one be a better person.

I can keep no one from being a party pooper.

I am no one's judge,my opinion is just that, and nothing more.

The suggestion, to go get help, if you are suffering, which by the way, is available, and likely to be rewarding, was a kind and thoughful recommendation. that is my suggestion as well.

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With all the talk Asian cultures, i might as well add a few cents to the topic.

Needless to say, i am Chinese; Cantonese, to be specific. I have been brought up by a strict, but very loving, Chinese mother who always thought that there was always time for me to work. If you thought there wasn't any time, time had to be made. For example, at the summer camp i work at, there's a Chinese boy, ~9-10 years old. You would think that the average 9-10 yr. old would get app. 8-10 hours of sleep, right? It doesn't seem so with this boy. He gets about 5-6 hours of sleep each night, because his mother wants him to do academic exercises just to prep him up for the following school year. This was also the case with me, but it wasn't as harsh.

I hate most of all being compared to other people. Especially when parents do it; in your face, might i add. This does so much psychological damage to the child, as i have learned slowly and painfully. The words that were said to Lydia were hurtful. But instead of holding a grudge against the person who said it to you, use them to encourage you to do other things. I have learned (finally) to take disparaging words and use them to my advantage.

If you think about it, the parents bring up their children to live up to the PARENT'S dreams, not the child's. But then there's also the arguement that the patent's don't want anything but the best for their child. *sigh* this is a tough subject. Too many arguements :).

Ignorance is bliss.... to ignorant people.

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What makes me angry are people who want me to listen to their 'rap'un-music from their car stereo when I'm driving in my car! Especially when they have the giant woofers and amplifiers so they can make sure I can feel it 3 blocks away. I almost want to get violent.

My only consolation is to know that if they keep it up long enough they will be inflicting permanent brain damage to themselves, not to mention ear damage.

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I hate those who come to my school orchestra for the line on their college application. They hate the music and they complain constantly. They haven't practiced in years. Most of all, they hold the people who want to be there back. I work my butt off to hold the woodwind section together. The space cadets bog down the group, we're stuck with music they can play. We could be an amazingly talented small orchestra if these people left, instead we're an ok large orchestra playing easy music- endless renditions of Star Wars.

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Right now, a particular teacher. She called my daughter "irresponsible" for going on an overseas tour in the two weeks immediately preceding one of her high school finals. (Daughter returned early morning on the day in which the night-time exam was to be held - okay, not necessarily smart, but she practised a lot while she was away). A few minutes later, the teacher announced she would not be coming to school in the evening to play a duet with my daughter as part of the exam - because she wanted to attend a concert. The exam contained a mandatory ensemble piece. The teacher was the one who decided three months ago that they should do a duet, and that she would play the second part. Then she turns around on the day of the exam and says she's not coming. Who's irresponsible? Luckily, my daughter had been practising the duet with someone else while on tour and was able to get the other student to come to her school for the exam. But what if the other student hadn't been available? We are so angry. We are, of course, looking for a new teacher now - which also makes me angry, partly because the final exam is only a month away, and partly because any other teacher we approach at the required level is likely to be an orchestral colleague of the first one, which could cause further problems.

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I did not read all three pages so maybe this has already been said. Maybe nobody will bother to read this far, but it made me REALLY angy that when I discovered traditional "fiddle" music at age 18, my VIOLIN teacher turned her nose up and said "THAT is not REAL music". Less than a year later I quit lessons and went entirely to trad stuff. I really love the "fiddling", but after 30 years, I miss the Classical stuff too. Unfortunately, where I live there is no place at all to do Orchestra/Classical without driving 3+ hours each way.

I play Concertos, etc. once in a while to practice technique, and it is amazing how much I HURT after playing Classical Style after 30 minutes. And!! I am careful when I do trad stuff to maintain proper position, etc. It is just different......

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Interesting that you bring that up HKV because the celts are thought to have come from Mongolia. Thus I can actually say that I'm decended from Asians. :)

quote:

Originally posted by HuangKaiVun:

Great questions, Stephen!

"Yes" to all of your queries.

I am a native Taiwanese, though the true aboriginal "natives" of Taiwan have blue eyes and blond hair!

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I don't like it when people say "So and so sucks" without giving a reason why.

I remember asking my pre-Juilliard teacher why Aaron Rosand "sucked" in her opinion and she just says "He just does".

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quote:

Originally posted by HuangKaiVun:

I remember asking my pre-Juilliard teacher why Aaron Rosand "sucked" in her opinion and she just says "He just does".

Well he does.... Just kidding HKV!!! wink.gif

I hate it when I do that crazy.gif

Bad mthss...Bad..Bad!

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I watch the "Antiques Road Show"...mostly waiting for a violin appraisal. It really ticks me off when they show a violin being appraised, and then shift away to something else before they finish ! frown.gif

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I get miffed, irked, whatever when people ask me to "play something" and then begin to talk over the music as if it was the radio or muzak. Um, of course that may mean I need to play someting more interesting then...

"Being disintegrated makes me very angry"

--Marvin the Martian

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