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You know you're an orch dork when...


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you have christmas music stuck in your head before thanksgiving cause you're already rehearsing it

when pulled up next to someone blasting rap, you blast the sceond movement to the shostakovich string quartet no 8

you not only name your violin, but its named after a composer

people think you're a goth because you have so much black clothing

the highlight of your week is your chamber music coaching

violining is a regualr word in your vocabulary

you tell heifetz jokes

you're blasting shostakovich 5 right now...

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This is the start of an orch dork list from my high school... but some might apply to everyone else..

You laugh when you conductor throws things, such as scores and music stands.

You have told viola jokes followed by conductor jokes when it’s your last rehearsal for a big concert and the Del Borgo piece still isn’t quite good.

You have played Del Borgo at every concert but one this year.

You or some one you know has drawn blood playing Egyptian Rat Screw

You have been in frequent arguments as to whether or not sandwiches count when playing Egyptian Rat Screw

Everyone, including the concertmaster, thinks it’s funny to pick on the concertmaster.

You finally master the music for the next concert…….on the day of the concert.

You have witnessed your conductor being pelted by snowballs during rehearsal.

You have had to interrupt a piece during rehearsal so that the conductor can answer his cell phone.

You’ve missed an audition due to a blizzard.

You’ve gotten caught in the crossfire of a band vs. choir snowball fight.

Your conductor has thrown, or threatened to throw, something at you.

You have been ridiculed by the muppets

You know the stories behind the 1812 Overture and the Farewell Symphony

You have used the Brandenburg Concerto #3 to annoy the Color Guard

You have performed at DisneyLand

You have ridden for 8 hours in a bus without air conditioning

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You quit an orchestra you love because the parents' auxiliary will not put an end to weekly "emergencies" resulting from command performances for corporate sponsors who just happen to be in the travel business.Oh, and you stay in your other orchestras, 'cause you don't give a bigratsass WHERE you sit.

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OK here's a wish-tale from my college music department days.

Our small music department had a 9 ft. Bösendorfer concert grand (with the 2-3 extra keys in the bass). The recital hall was built with a specially sized storage compartment for it, alongside of the stage and the stage doors were double - and opened wide enough to let it pass through. The piano was always covered by a 1-inch thick padded blanket cover. When it was to be used for the weekly Student Recitals period, several band fraternity guys would open the doors wide and carefully roll the Bösendorfer onto the stage, and remove the padded cover. The head of the Piano/Keyboard dept. was practially in love with that instrument (maybe why his wife left him?)and would wipe off every fingerprint, etc, before allowing it to be returned to it's storage area.

The dream was that someone would find or make a set of Bösendorfer-shaped piano legs, attach them to a very lightweight, roughly piano-shaped frame,put it on a Piano dolly, and cover the frame with the B.Blanket. Then, when rolling it out onto the stage one Thursday, they would give it a shove and push it off the front edge of the stage (about 3 ft. high). The bet was that even if he started in the BACK of the hall, Dr. N. would BE there to catch it as it fell.

Alas, we were never able to do that stunt (although Kappa Kappa Psi was definitely responsible for a good many other pranks), and since Dr. N. did have a heart problem later on, it's just as well. They would not have wanted to cause a fatal heart attack.

Mem'ries- of the way we were....

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Singing parts -- haven't thought of this in years, but my high school quartet was a naturally occurring perfectly matched vocal quartet as well - VI VII Va C = SATB, and we sang our pieces quite often--which was of course a great way to work out interpretation ideas, especially when we added words - "I'm going to mutter away in the background" "Aha, I've got the solo!" "Not if I take it away from you!" . Yup, I guess we were orch dorks.

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A quick story- today, we decided that our conductor had completly lost it... he spent quite some time pulling the rubber end of his baton (with a loud popping sound) just for fun.. then he timed it with the 1812 overture.... then he wass complainig that the balance was off, and he would toss it in the air, only to have it hall behind him... orch was weird today.................

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