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fatimam

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  1. reetings all – I’ve been exploring this forum for a while – but this is my first post. I’ll try to be short, but would appreciate any input! I played the violin through elementary and high school (traditional method). I was quite serious and had the advantage of growing up near an excellent college conservatory giving me access to excellent and inexpensive lessons, and orchestras! I quit when I got to college as I realized that violin performance is very competitive and I’m just not that good. After a 12 year hiatus – I started to take lessons again about a year ago. I found a local Suzuki school – and I now take both private and group lessons. Being an adult and picking the violin back up after not having touched it for 12 years was really difficult. I’ve found that I basically need to start at the beginning, new bow hold – working on vibrato from scratch - new left hand – and that is hard for one’s ego – especially when concertos I used to whiz through when I was 16 – well now - I have no idea how I was able to do it – and can’t remember how to read some of the more difficult passages. My private lessons are fantastic – but the group lessons make me very uncomfortable, however they are useful so I don’t want to quit. I’m new to the Suzuki method and I’m learning that parents are an integral part of the child learning process. The group class consists of a couple of adults (who are all learning with their children) and several kids (age probably 7-11?) . I don’t have children myself – and have always been kind of uncomfortable around them. The kids are all very competent – and they seem to “know” it. One child went so far as to pick up my (very expensive to me) instrument from my case (without asking) and start playing it. I was astounded – but didn’t want to say anything as no one likes to have their child “admonished” by someone else – and I figured it’s sort of good that the children feel so comfortable around instruments. The non-playing parents sit and watch every lesson, many of them video tape lessons, take notes and even go so far as to mark their child’s music for them. At any rate – I feel very uncomfortable in these group lessons – and would feel much better if it were an adult only class – or at least if then non-playing parents did not attend the class. Part of it is embarrassment about my abilities and having to show that to adults my age and part of it may be that the idea of having parents so involved in music lessons is foreign to me. My mother would not have considered attending and taping one of my lessons – or an orchestra rehearsal – much less mark my music – or carry my instrument around for me – or rosin my bow for me. Not because she didn’t care – but because my music lessons were my responsibility and she had two other busy children and a household to manage. Anyway – I can’t change the fact that children are a part of this group – and I don’t want to quit the group – so how do I become more comfortable in this environment? I’m in a weird place – I’m not the teacher – not a parent – and not a kid. Anyone have any ideas? Thanks in advance for your replies! - I’ve been learning a lot by reading this forum!
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